Duality: it is only within

The strangest -- and perhaps the nicest thing -- about not being a perfect human being is that you learn along the way what all was inferred by the saints. It is a wonderful experience because it is in the flaws, in the problems ones learns the extreme truths.

One of these things is that when somebody or something bothers you, the initial reaction is for us to wish it away. Actually if you have gone deeper into sadhana you suddenly infer that neither the problem outside nor the person outside is the cause of your distress. Within yourself there are three states (is that what Christ referred to when he spoke of father, son and holy spirit; and is that the trinity other scriptures talk about; is that the Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva principles?). In psychology, is this what they call the Parent-Adult-Child in ourselves? 
There is one extremely jumpy, reactive, silly, gadding about self (Jiva?) which has to do, think, live and suffer and feel. All that it does is as if in offering to the other one, which is silent. In a way, this silent one is indifferent to all that is being offered. Yet, the jiva suffers to make these offerings. When the offering fits its definition of what must be offered, the Jiva believes itself happy.  An illusory calm keeps it happy. But this is a foolish calm because the definition of offering is made by the jiva itself -- which clearly does not know enough. If it did, it will know well, that the other one does not want anything  So, for this jiva, if the offering (largely made in terms of how it thinks, what it likes, what it does, its thoughts, its livingness -- all of which is constantly offered up).  If it does not fit the definition, it suffers and struggles. Yet, not realising just how foolish that is, since the Other one, it is silent, and indifferent. Then, the third state, where if we reach, we can be truly happy. Because this state is the one which watches both and understands at once the silent and the suffering one. In the witnessing self one gets closer. We suffer when we do not realise these three distinct states in ourselves. When the split is complete then things don't frighten us any more, simply because we do not have to control anything. Watching ourselves, we realise the folly of our attempt to offer to that one which does not care for any offering. Then, the struggle recedes a bit. But life times' of practice/habits (karmic cycle) drags you back to the pattern of suffering. When we remember the three selves, we move back from the jiva (a temporary self, at the most but with the power to sabotage things whose stakes are very high). When we remember and deny that (neti, neti) or ask ourselves the Vedantic question (Who am I? Ko ham) then we are in the state of self-remembrance Atma samarpanam. This becomes the sadhana. This is a very happy place. It may not yet be complete, but one has absolute faith in the ultimate truth. The path may not be clear. But the destination becomes very distinct. There is no doubt. Despite all the madness of the jiva, you know you may well escape its own tangles and tentacles.