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The big thing that surfaced, after years of meditation, is the idea that one's own awareness can actually be spiritually disturbing. That the awareness becomes a trigger for extroverting the mind, and thus, it actually ruins it from its steadiness of fixed intention on THAT. It was such a shock when this surfaced, like scum on top of already turgid water. Because awareness itself was born of intense meditation..So, you suddenly appreciate what Ramana suggests -- it is work, and constant work, of meditation till your mind becomes crystal clear, from the trying...
Here is how awareness/which I believe is triggered by the intellect (referred in yoga as buddhi) can interfere and disturb you from remembering That, if not watched out for. From the words of Swami Niranjananda in his latest book which I've just acquired: Mind, mind management and Raja yoga
Buddhi is of two types : firm and negotiable. The firm buddhi denotes firmness of nature, idea, thought and knowledge. You are not oscillating, vacillating and fluctuating in your thoughts, ideas and perceptions. That firmness and clarity is the decided inteligence nischatyatmika buddhi, the stable buddhi. The fluctuating nature vyavasayatmika buddhi.
Most of the time, it is the negotiable buddhi that is active in you.
When buddhi is not used properly, it becomes clouded. Buddhi is also the source of all passions and desires. When vasanas become strong, then the colour of buddhi changes completely. It is similar to ink being mixed with water. If black ink is mixed into a glass of clear water the entire coulor of water will change.
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